How to prepare your child with special needs for the holidays

My best tips to prepare your child with special needs for the holidays + MY BIGGEST SECRET for keeping your holidays meltdown free (at the end of this post!)? Here they are!

This time of year can get very overwhelming for everyone, including children with special needs.

Why are the holidays overwhelming?

1/ People tend to pop over unexpectedly.

2/ You may be hosting a holiday party or parties in your home which means extra people, noise and schedule changes.

3/ The level of predictability in your child’s life goes down during the holidays.

4/ Your child may be very excited for Christmas (+ presents) to arrive! There is a fine line between joyful excitement and difficult meltdowns in the life of a special needs child.

5/ You may be invited to friends’ homes which means new environments, foods and experiences for your child which could be stressful.

6/ If you are traveling over the holidays, your child could be facing all kinds of new and special challenges.

How can you prepare your child with special needs for the holidays and decrease stress and meltdowns?

1/ Prepare your child for schedule changes, new environments, travel and the anticipation of Christmas arriving as best you can.

Happiness tips :

- Now is the time to make sure you have visual schedules in place so your child knows exactly what’s going to happen next, where they will be going, who they will see and what they will be doing when they get there…
- Try to decrease schedule changes to the best of your ability. Explain to friends and family members how important it is to your child to decrease last minute schedule changes to the best of everyone’s ability.

2/ Carry familiarity with you.

Happiness tips :

Whether you are invited over to a friend’s house or you’re traveling far from your own, bring a special toy or book from home with you so that your child feels reassured outside of your home.

All of the visual schedules, communication cards and materials you use to help your child communicate and learn at home should be packed and taken with you to continue sessions during your vacation. It may seem that giving your child a “break” from work is a good idea, but changing your daily pattern can actually lead to unnecessary stress, confusion and behavior problems. Taking a break from being able to communicate effectivley is not restful for a child with autism or other special needs.

3/ Invite friends to your home to help prepare your child with special needs for the holidays.

Happiness tips :

Make your home an awesome, cheerful, holiday-loving space and invite friends and family to come to you. This will surely be easier for you to plan and will help alleviate the stress of traveling with your special needs child. (Don’t get me wrong, I love traveling and think you should take your child with you as much as you possibly can, but everyone knows that the holidays are one of the hardest times to travel, so I would recommend choosing an easier time during the year to adventure away from your home as a family.)
If you host holiday parties at your home, your child will be able to stick to his or her sleep pattern and schedule, you have greater control over what food is served which will make managing food preferences and/or allergies easier and you can take your child away from any difficult situations and go to a calmer, more controlled space, such as his or her bedroom or progress nook.

4/ Limit anticipation.

Happiness tips :

This may seem like a strange recommendation. Who doesn’t love waiting for Christmas to come with bated breath? Unfortunately, the answer can sometimes be children with autism and a variety of other special needs. For kids with special needs, managing emotions can be a huge challenge. For some kids with autism, looking at a Christmas tree and wrapped presents for the entire month of December can be more like torture than holiday bliss. I know families that have come to see me to explain sleep loss, violence, nail biting, skin picking, you name it… all because a child is trying to keep him or herself from opening presents under a Christmas tree. I am all for working on steps to reach learning goals but in this case, why not avoid this stress altogether by limiting holiday festivities to a week or two (max!) before Christmas. Put up your tree a little later and wait for Santa to drop off presents on the 24th rather than having presents all over the living room tantalizing your child during the entire month of December!

5/ Choosing the “right” presents will also help the holidays go more smoothly for your entire family and help prepare your child with special needs for the holidays.

Happiness tips :

This may also seem a little funny. The “right” presents? What does that even mean?
Parents often fall into two different categories – those that know their kids with special needs have all kinds of quirky interests and behaviors and therefore, buy everything they can find that feeds into these behaviors. Hey, their child is enjoying himself, right? That means the holidays at home are full of musical, super stimulating toys, iPads, video games, spinning tops, visually stimulating mechanical toys…
The other group of parents shop for “educational toys”. These kids receive 10 books about the Earth, Math, Science, the human body, educational board games and just about everything that is linked to whatever their therapists are working on with them during the year.
Nothing is wrong with either group of parents and their gift choices, other than the fact that in both cases, it’s a bit much which can be very stressful for the child receiving the gifts.
The child who receives all of the toys that feed into his repetitive behaviors will become way too stimulated way too quickly and will most likely end up having a meltdown that can take hours or even days in some cases to bounce back from.
The child that only receives gifts directly related to his learning and therapy goals, is not getting to just enjoy some presents that are simple, pure fun.
I recommend a mixutre of both kinds of gifts and will be publishing a gift guide very soon, so keep an eye out for that.

6/ Get others to help you out.

Happiness tips :

- Don’t forget to ask for help!
- If you need to go gift shopping, ask your husband or wife, mom or dad to watch your child if you know that it’s going to be tricky for him or her to wait on line with you.
- If your whole family is going to a special holiday party and you know that it’s going to be really hard to manage your child’s food intolerances or behavior, get a sitter who knows your child well and can help out for the evening so that the rest of your family can enjoy the night out meltdown free.

7/ Keep your child occupied in fun + educational ways throughout the holiday season (+ always)!

Happiness tips :

Boredom breeds difficult behaviors!
The secret to keeping your child happy and meltdown free this holiday season is to decrease downtime.
Special needs parents in the know don’t think their child needs to rest without activities during the holidays. These parents know how important it is to occupy their children’s time with adapted activities. Too much downtime breeds boredom which leads to disaster in the form of meltdowns!
You need to find fun and stimulating activities for your child during the holidays. Need some inspiration? Put together one of these simple sensory boxes, bring along your printable sensory communication workbook or pack some easy origami for your child .

These tips will help prepare your child with special needs for the holidays. Tell us your best tips to help a child with autism or other special needs enjoy this holiday season!