What to do when your autistic child won't go to school (5 actionable tips)

Back to school can bring a whole new set of challenges for parents of children with autism. One of the questions I receive often in my practice is what do when your autistic child won’t go to school. Flat out refuses. Throws a fit. Clings to the bed. Screams, hits, hides… you get the picture.

What to do when your autistic child won't go to school #autism

Table of Contents

5 things you can do when your autistic child won’t go to school

1. Put your parent-therapist-detective hat on a do a little research. Why doesn’t your child want to go to school?

If your autistic child won’t go to school, avoid autism mom burnout by getting to the bottom of the behavior if you are going to change it. To do that, you need to figure out why your child is not enthusiastic about going back to school. Is your child loving lazy Summer days? Is difficulty with transitions the issue? Does your child want to keep spending more time with you? Is a younger sibling getting to spend the day at home creating the back to school tension/jealousy? Getting to the root cause of your autistic child’s discomfort will help you decide how to respond to his or her particular needs in this situation and to make starting a new school year easier and more enjoyable.

2. Break the back-to-school process down into smaller steps.

Particularly if change and transitions are the root cause of the reason your autistic child won’t go to school, which is often the case with children with autism, you will need to break the entire process into smaller, more manageable steps. Start a few days or even a week or two before the actual date when your child will start a new school year. One day tell your child you are getting ready to go visit school. Get dressed and explain soon you will be getting ready in this way each morning. The next day, get ready and actually go to school. Drive in front of the school and wave or even get out of the car and do something fun in front of school (enjoy a favorite snack, play a favorite game, spend a few minutes playing with a preferred toy). Make sure that you are reinforcing each step by letting your child enjoy something fun afterwards each day.

3. Talk about school in a positive way.

Whether your child is verbal or non-verbal, he or she probably understands a lot more than you think. That means it is essential to monitor how you are talking about school at home. Hearing negative things about the start of a new school year and school in general, could be the reason your autistic child won’t go to school. If you are complaining about IEPs, waking up early, your fears for your child’s new school year, etc., it will be hard for your child to be enthusiastic about returning to school. I understand those back to school fears but rather than talking about them out loud in front of your child, try journaling them with your spouse.

4. Use a visual schedule.

If your autistic child won’t go to school, it may indicate that your child feels lost or unclear of what is going on due to all of the change that a new school year brings into your life and home. In order to make the back to school transition smoother and happier, use a visual schedule. If your child is already used to using a visual schedule, prepare the back to school schedule and talk your child through it each day leading up to the first day of school. If your child has not yet starting using a visual schedule, make sure you put one in place now. Having a visual schedule in place is going to make our entire family’s life so much easier and will be a great sense of comfort for your child with autism. Increase sensory play during this time to help calm your child down as well.

5. Create a safe haven at home.

Part of venturing out into the world confidently is knowing that you have a safe space waiting for you at home. If your autistic child won’t go to school, he or she may be feeling anxious. For children with autism, it can be even more challenging to start a new school year, meet a new teacher, make new friends, get used to a new schedule and learn new things. To help inspire confidence and give your little one the courage to go forth into the new school year, make sure you have an organized, adapted learning space that belongs exclusively to your child. I call this special and all important learning/calm down space your child’s progress nook. Learn to create a progress nook for your child here.

Your autistic child won’t go to school!

Which of this tips will you be putting into place in your home? Let us know in the comments below.

More tips to help your child get ready for school

More Autism Resources

The Successful Interaction with a Child with Autism Course – learn to better understand your autistic child or students with this complete course.
Autism Activities Workbook Bundle – build communication skills, fine motor skills, sensory play skills and daily living skills, while helping your child or students to successfully manage any difficult behaviors, with these fun, educational, printable activities.
Sensory Communication Workbook – Build communication skills with simple sensory activities.
How to Make a Communication Binder Guide & Workbook – Learn how to create a Communication Binder for your child or student with autism using real photos. Follow my expert guide to learn how to use it to increase communication skills.
Zoo Animals Play Dough Mats Bundle – use these printable play dough mat to work on the names of the animals, build language skills, and increase fine motor strength and precision in a fun, sensory way!